In preparation for the upcoming 2015-16 season, FOGSquad will post a season primer of every NHL team every other day until the beginning of the season on October 7th. This is thus part two of a thirty part series. We hope you enjoy!
Last season’s review
The Canucks sure did play hockey! A weak Pacific division led to the Canucks’ re-appearance in the playoffs after their one-year break. Despite a heady push, the Canucks bowed out in the first round to the Calgary Flames, a move that many fans considered “edgy” and “disappointing.” It's okay, Canucks fans. There's always this year.
This season’s preview
Rogers Arena vibrates with the shrieking horror of thousands of Canucks fans as they watch Brandon Sutter take to the ice. Even the memory of Eddie Lack cannot save them, any of them, from this.
The official FOGSquad prediction
Henrik and Daniel Sedin will crash into each other at center ice. The immense force generated from this collision will warp time and space for the brothers. They disappear entirely, only a slight fizzle to mark where they once were. Where did they go? Will they ever return? The Canucks miss the playoffs by two points. Brandon Sutter wakes at 3 am every morning of the off-season with night terrors, sweat pouring down his face, the fast-fading memory of the Sedins begging for escape from the tangled knot of the universe beyond human comprehension still haunting his every move.
Players to watch
- The tears of Canucks fans while they watch their team slowly dissolve in the fire lapping at their heels.
- Chris Tanev. His hair is really good. He’s like a slightly deformed Kris Letang that you find in the clearance section, a little dinged up but charming in its own way. You love him despite his faults. You could love no one else.
- Not Eddie Lack, you heartless piece of—
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