Have you ever entered hockey fandom only to realize that you had no idea what anyone was talking about? “Advanced statistics”–or, more colloquially, “nerd talk”–is an important part of analyzing hockey games and talking about hockey games to other hockey fans. Some hockey fans will tell you that all you need to do is “watch the game” to understand who is a good player and who isn’t. However, statistics can show patterns beneath simple “eye tests”, because eyes aren’t really that reliable and you probably haven’t been to an optometrist in years.

Unfortunately, just like wedgies, advanced statistics strike at the most inopportune times. You can protect yourself from feeling utterly confused by reading this article, which we have developed to help you learn nerd talk within a few short minutes. The terms these “armchair experts” use can be very confusing, but allow us to simplify them all for you.