Remember Sam Gagner? You know: short, kinda looked like an elf, played for the Oilers for a few years? Yeah, that guy. Well, we have some bad news about him.
Gagner was traded from the Edmonton Oilers to the Tampa Bay Lightning for Teddy Purcell on June 19, 2014. Unfortunately, Gagner's tenure as a member of the Lightning would not last long: he was traded shortly thereafter to the Arizona Coyotes along with B.J. Crombeen for a 6th round pick at the 2015 NHL Draft. Gagner disappeared from this very earth once the news of the trade broke. Witnesses say that after he found out he would be a Coyote after an hour-long stint as a Bolt, Gagner "began wailing hysterically before he literally just evaporated," leaving only two teeth behind. Coyotes management confirmed that the teeth were the last remaining teeth in Gagner's mouth. One will be delivered to Rexall Arena to commemorate Gagner's seven-year career as an Oiler. The other will be delivered to his family in London, Ontario for burial.
Gagner leaves a long and storied legacy behind him: he certainly did some things. He once tallied four goals and four assists in a single game against the Chicago Blackhawks, tying an Oilers record previously set by Wayne "Hiss" Gretzky and Paul Coffey. He somehow managed to be decent friends with people like Ryan Whitney, Taylor Hall, and Ryan Nugent-Hopkins. Jordan Eberle allowed him to grace his presence. Also, he posted a picture of his terrifying mouth shortly after a high stick from some dude named Zack Kassian--whoever that guy is.
Gagner is definitely survived by someone, but I'm too lazy to Google any news about his family.
RIP in peace, Sam William Gagner. August 10, 1989—June 19, 2014. You are in the arms of angels now, my son.
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