"You can break my legs, but you can't break my spirit!"
—Rickety Cricket, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia Season 3 Episode 13
I've had to gaze upon the face of this Czech hero so many times and each time I do it his face just gets better. He's 20 years old and he has acne and he can barely grow any form of facial hair, yet somehow he's probably somewhere around 6'4" by now and he's an actual adult with a beautiful girlfriend. How does he do it? Teach me your ways, Tomas Hertl.
Tomas Hertl is still cute as hell. You can ask in 20 years, "Is Tomas Hertl still cute as hell?" And the answer will be, "Yes. Tomas Hertl is still cute as hell. In fact he may actually be cuter than hell." His hero is Jaromir "Hottest Man Alive" Jagr (he still has a picture of Jaromir Jagr on his childhood bedroom wall, and I assume he clocked in a couple hundred hours on eye contact alone) and his best friend is everyone because even though he doesn't speak fluent English he still does his best and has fun. He likes to go to Dave & Buster's, for god's sake. No one goes to Dave & Buster's because they feel like going to Dave & Buster's, they go to Dave & Buster's because there's nothing better to do. And yet he goes there. And he wins things. I didn't even know there was a Dave & Buster's in San Jose and I've lived here my entire life (correction: there is a Dave & Buster's in Milpitas but there is not a Dave & Buster's in San Jose. So what's the point).
I can't believe this. Tomas Hertl is too real. I bet he loves froyo. I give him an A+.
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