FOGSquad 2015-16 Season Primer: TJ Oshie Is A Capital Now? Edition

In preparation for the upcoming 2015-16 season, FOGSquad will post a season primer of every NHL team every other day until the beginning of the season on October 7th. This is thus part three of a thirty part series. We hope you enjoy!

Last season’s review
The Capitals definitely came out onto the ice and showed that, yes, their team could indeed play hockey at the NHL level. The Capitals made it into the playoffs, but were taken out in the second round by the New York Rangers. Despite this earlier-than-expected exit, Capitals fans should look forward to the 2015-2016 season, when the Capitals will skate out and hopefully—hopefully!—show that professional hockey remains in their repertoire.

This season’s preview
Braden Holtby will put his hair in a bun. No one survives.

The FOGSquad prediction
The Capitals will set a franchise record with a win streak midway through the season that will be forever tainted by Alex Ovechkin shooting a puck through a goalie. With any luck, the Capitals will remain in the running for the playoffs next year, likely falling into the third seed in the Metropolitan, especially after what happens to the New York Islanders. Wormholes don’t just open in the middle of Brooklyn, but god has other ideas.

Players to watch

• TJ Oshie. Oh my god, he’s on the Capitals. TJ Oshie you are so pretty. I constantly forget that TJ Oshie is a hockey player and not a lifestyle blogger who posts articles at least once a week on how blessed he is to have such a gorgeous family. TJ when are you releasing your Wednesday DIY article that is literally just a walkthrough on how to paint something? Please help me dip these mason jars in pastel-colored paint. I need you.
• The Washington Capitals mascot, Slapshot. I don’t trust him. He’s going to hurt someone. Best keep an eye on him, just in case.
• Alex Ovechkin. I don’t know. I’m just spitballing here. I don’t actually pay that much attention to the Capitals so I don’t know what other players they have on their team or in their system. Did you know TJ Oshie is a Capital now, though? That’s crazy. Anyways, don’t let Ovechkin score or whatever, except he will, because he’s really good at that, and stuff.