In preparation for the upcoming 2015-16 season, FOGSquad will post a season primer of every NHL team every other day until the beginning of the season on October 7th. This is thus part seven of a thirty part series. We hope you enjoy!
Last season’s review
The Winnipeg Jets made it to the playoffs in the 2014-15 season, a feat many thought to be unbelievable, but it happened! The fans wore white shirts to the MTS Centre in a "Whiteout," a tradition that can trace its roots as far back as 1583, when Sir Humphrey Gilbert declared St. John's an English colony.
Unfortunately for the Jets, their playoff dreams were short-lived as they were immediately swept out of the playoffs by the Anaheim Ducks. Their fans, dressed from head to skin to toe in white and deserving of some tiny piece of honor, were named the third star in the elimination game. Presumably because no one else on the Jets deserved the spot. Yikes.
This season’s preview
I know I'm supposed to talk about how I think the Winnipeg Jets will do in the 2015-16 season, but would you mind if I use this space to talk about Andrew Ladd instead? I just feel like we don't talk about Andrew Ladd and his face enough. I feel like we all pretend like it doesn't exist, but Andrew Ladd's face is the proverbial elephant in the room and I truly believe that we need to discuss this, because he's been in the league for several years and no one has ever written a thinkpiece on his face..
His face is just so asymmetrical. How did that happen? It's like his face is made of wax and god held a candle to one half of his face and it melted, but then god realized that the mailman was at the door with a really important FedEx package and they got distracted and forgot to melt the other side of Andrew Ladd's face. And then god just sent Andrew Ladd to this Earth without realizing that they had forgotten. It's like the two sides of his face are on completely opposite planes of existence. I mean, good for him, because one side of his face can pay attention to what's happening on the ice while the other half can emote about the beautiful family and the blessed life he has been able to lead because of his athletic ability. I’m just surprised anyone can pay attention to what’s happening on the ice when Andrew Ladd’s face is there, extremely lopsided and just doing it’s own thing.
I'm not saying his face is a bad thing; I'm sure someone out there finds it very charming. His wife probably did! He probably has a great personality.
The official FOGSquad prediction
The Winnipeg Jets will attempt to take flight in the standings. Their hypothetical pilot takes one look at Andrew Ladd's face and silently lands the plane. The Jets finish 9th in the division.
Players to watch
- Not Evander Kane or Zach Bogosian, because neither of them are on the Winnipeg Jets anymore. I forgot. Sorry. I really thought they were still on the Jets, but turns out they're in Buffalo now.
- Not Jack Eichel, because he isn't on the Winnipeg Jets either. I apologize deeply to all Winnipeg Jets fans. I don't know why I keep confusing the Buffalo Sabres and the Winnipeg Jets, but that's completely my bad.
- Ondrej Pavelec! He plays for the Winnipeg Jets! Finally, I got one. He's not a good hockey player but man, is he hot. Keep your eyes on him. Phew.
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