5. Phil Kessel gets traded to the Pittsburgh Penguins
Though we have yet to see if Phil Kessel will be free in Pittsburgh, it's safe to say that the comedy of errors that is the Pittsburgh Penguins will see him a very happy bird indeed.
4. The Goalie Switcheroo (Toronto Maple Leafs at Florida Panthers, 3/3/15)
Now he's in goal... now he isn't. During this bizarre game, the Panthers switched goalies not once, but twice. Roberto Luongo suffered an injury in the first period, and back-up goaltender Al Montoya took over the net. However, Montoya also suffered an injury in the third period. Rob Tallas, the Panthers' goalie coach who played his last NHL game in 2001 (but dressed as a back-up on the same day in 2014) was cleared to play, but Montoya stayed in the net. In the end, Luongo took over for Montoya late in the third period, but that wasn't enough to keep the Maple Leafs at bay. They took the victory at the end of the night, 3-2.
3. Jamie Benn tried to make fun of Jason Demers for going down on women, was immediately mocked into the stratosphere
Rest in pieces, Jamie.
2. The Stadium Series (Los Angeles Kings at San Jose Sharks, 2/21/15)
Though the Sharks ended up losing on home turf, both teams agreed that taking another outdoor event from the Chicago Blackhawks, who were contractually obligated to play in every single outdoor game until 2026, was a good deal for the NHL.
"We just didn't feel like contributing to the Blackhawks' empirical reign over the outdoor game when they've already had approximately fifty," Dustin Brown said to reporters after their 2-1 win at Levi's Stadium. "Do they really deserve another one? If you ask anyone in this room—heck, ask anyone in the Sharks locker room—you'll get the same answer."
Obviously, Brown was speaking in estimates: the Blackhawks have been present in every outdoor game since the inception of the National Hockey League in 1917: a whopping 195 games played in the great outdoors. This includes lockout years as well as Spanish flu years.
Speaking of the Spanish flu, the Blackhawks were indeed present at the 1918 Stadium Series in Saint Paul, Minnesota. The game ended in a 0-0 tie.
"I very rarely agree with Dustin," Joe Thornton stated while half-naked, "but in this instance I must concede. I for one certainly wasn't going to allow the Blackhawks to fly into my adopted hometown and play an outdoor game in California. That would be ridiculous."
The Blackhawks had no comment on the matter, but will continue to feature in every single outdoor game from 2016 on.
1. It ended
F*** this piece of s*** league
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